remember the past
by readersinsanity
Summary: some parts of the host from different points of view. i hope you enjoy, pleeeeeeeeeze review! Cannon pairings. go team ian!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Disclaimer: I own nothing!! It's all credited to the genius, Ms. Stephenie Meyer!

This is my first fanfic so who knows how it really is… please review!! Flames for the sake of improvement are definitely welcome!! Enjoy!!

I stared at Melanie as she checked in on the kid. There is a wistful look in her eye, and I know her well enough to know that she is just happy to see Jamie comfortable. She closed the door softly and came to sit next to me on the shabby, little couch.

"Thank you," she said. Her beautiful voice quiet, so as not to wake him up, I guessed. "I feel bad. This couch is much too short for you maybe you should take the bed with Jamie."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. Characteristic Mel. She thought of me before herself even in a world where that kind of generosity could cost her her life. "Mel, you're only a few inches shorter than I am. Sleep comfortably, for once. Next time I'm out ill steal my self a cot or something." I tried to keep it light. I didn't want her to see how much I wanted to stay with her, to be with her in every way. I doubted if she wanted me the way I wanted her, and even if she did… that was a dangerous train of thought. She was just too young!

I put my arms around her and she leans into my touch. I try to ignore the fact that it feels like the entire left side of my body has been caught on fire and I just didn't feel the pain yet. She looked like something was hurting her; I couldn't take that look from her much longer. Her pain was mine.

"Why the frown?" I was trying to cheer her up.

"When will you… when will WE have to leave again?" she emphasized. I fought a smile.

"We scavenged enough on our way up that we are set for a few months. I can do a few short raids if you want to stay in one place for a while, I'm sure your tired of running."

"Yes, I am," she agrees. She breaths heavily, "but if you go, I go." I feel proud. She is so brave. I pull her tighter to my side as if to hold her there permanently.

"I'll admit I prefer it that way. The thought of being separated from you…" I laughed to keep her from seeing the depth of but then I blurt out, "does it sound crazy to say that I'd rather die? Too melodramatic?"

"No, I know what you mean." Did that mean she saw me as more than a protector? More than just another human in this alien ridden world? Some thing seems different about tonight than every other night we've spent together. Something's missing. Then with a flash of excitement and nervousness I realize that we are completely alone. Jamie listening in. I love him like my own family, but now that I am truly alone with Mel I realize what I was missing. She starts to breathe faster and I wonder if she is thinking the same thing. No, I tell myself, she cant be.

"I don't think you need to find a cot. Not yet." I looked at the girl, no, woman in my arms. She refused to look at me.

"We'll stay here until the food is gone, don't worry. Iv slept on worse things than this couch."

"That's not what I mean." Her eyes are on the floor.

"You get the bed, Mel. I'm not budging on that." Chivalry had been ingrained since birth and I wasn't going to give it up then.

"That's not what I mean either," her voice is quiet again, but for a different reason, I suspect. "I meant the couch is plenty big for Jamie. He won't outgrow it for a long time. I could share the bed with… you."

I can't speak. She still won't look at me and when I can't take it any more, I put my fingers under her chin to make eyes meat mine. A shock runs through me when she looks at me. The heat between us is overwhelming. Does she feel that too? And then it occurs to me that she probably just thinks that she owes me. That just because we are the only ones left… she owes me that. As much as I didn't want to, I had to tell her otherwise.

"Mel, I…" I didn't know how to fraise it. I look away from her penetrating gaze, "you don't owe me that, Melanie. You don't owe me any thing at all."

"I'm not saying… I didn't mean that I felt _obligated. _And… you shouldn't either. Forget I said anything."

"Not likely, Mel," I still can't look at her or ill never finish, "Mel, it doesn't have to be like that. Just because we're together, just because we're the last man and woman on earth…" I can't find the right words. But I know that it is just because I didn't want to say them. "That doesn't mean you have to do any thing you don't want to. I'm not the kind of man who would expect… you don't have to…"

"That's not what I mean- 'have to' is not what I'm talking about and I don't think you're 'that kind of man'. No. it's just that-"

"Just that…?" I'm dying for her to finish her sentence. She tries to shake her head but I can't let her look away. "Mel?"

She pulls away from my hand and shakes her head vigorously. Suddenly I'm fighting between what I want so much and the way I know it should be. "Will you talk to me please?" I'm very aware of how close I am to her.

She finally looks at me and starts to speak, "if I had to pick anyone, anyone at all, to be stranded on a deserted planed with, it would be you. I always want to be with you. And not just… not just to talk to. When you touch me…" the burning heat between us increased. She ran her thin fingers down my arm. I sucked in air as my eyes rolled back and closed. I pulled her closer if that were possible, not wanting any space to separate us. "I don't want you to stop. If you don't feel the same way, I understand. Maybe it isn't the same for you, that's ok."

She had no idea what she did to me. "Oh, Mel," I couldn't resist her any longer. I pulled her face up and crushed my lips to hers. The feel of her soft lips moving in unison with mine was heaven and hell rolled into one. This moment was so perfect. I knew it had to stop then though. My hands tangled in her long silky hair. I moved to whisper in her ear before I got carried away.

"It was a miracle- more than a miracle- when I found you, Melanie. Right now, if I were given the choice between having the world back and having you, I wouldn't be able to give you up."

"That's wrong"

"Very wrong, but very true." There. Now she saw the depth of my feelings for her. I had laid it all on the table.

"Jared," she breathed, her voice full of longing, making it nearly impossible to resist her.

"But…" that was one of the most difficult words I had ever had to say.

"But?" she sounded exasperated.

"But your seventeen, Melanie. And I'm twenty- six."

"What's that got to do with any thing?" I couldn't stop my self from touching her. I ran my hands down her bare arms, absorbing the heat.

She groans and leans away from my chest. "You've got to be kidding me. You're going to worry about _conventions _when we're past the end of the world?"

"Most conventions exist for a reason, Mel. I would feel like a bad person, like I was taking advantage. You're very young."

"no ones young any more anyone who survived this long is antient."

"maybe your right but this isn't something we need to rush."

"what is there to wait for?" she demands,

I stop, thinking how to phrase this, but not wanting to say it at all. "well for one thing there are some practical matters to consider." She raised one eyebrow, not under standing me. "see, when I was stocking this place I wasn't much planning for… guests. What I mean is…" the next part spilled from my mouth so fast it was almost incoherent, "birth control was pretty much the last thing on my mind."

"oh" was her only response.

Then I got angry. When you love someone as much as I loved Melanie, you shouldn't have to think about this. "This isn't the kind of world I want to bring a child into."

I smiled, thinking back on our time together, "besides, we've got plenty of time to… think about this. Do you realize how very, very little time we've been together so far? Its just been four weeks since we found each other." That was hard to believe.

"that cant be." She said, mirroring my thoughts.

"twenty-nine days. im counting." She looks thoughtful, "we've got time." Her face changes from thoughtful to almost paniced.

"you don't know that."

I laughed to lighten the mood, then I kissed her forehead. "don't worry, mel. Miracles don't work that way. I will never loose you, I will never let you get away from me."


	2. Chapter 2

Hey yall sorry about the authors note… I hate them too

Hey yall sorry about the authors note… I hate them too! But I reeeeeeeeeeally need some suggestions about what I should do next or even if I should do any thing at all. So please let me know what you think.

Thanx

edward.jacob.ian


	3. Chapter 3

Here is another chapter from Jared's pov

_Here is another chapter from Jared's pov. Remember these are in no particular order! This one is not in the book… it's when Melanie wakes up after wanderer is taken out. Lots of thanks to __Countrygal17 for the suggestion! (review review review!! plz)_

She had been asleep for what seemed like forever. I couldn't make myself face the fact that she might not really be there. What if Wanda hadn't told the truth? No, she wouldn't do that. She was a good person… human. I truly missed wanderer. Before she left, she asked me to lie to her. But I couldn't. I told her I wanted her to stay. That was undeniably the truth.

I loved Wanda as a person but I needed Melanie. She is my reason for living. I missed her so much. I missed the fire that erupted when my skin touched hers. I missed her sarcasm and even her violent nature. I had to chuckle at that. I wanted her back.

"Come back to me, Mel. I need you."

I knew that I hadn't been the same person since she left me so long ago to find her cousin. I knew that I turned back into the person that I was before I found her. Alone, emotionless. Then when I saw her again, even with wanderer insider her, controlling her body, something cracked. Underneath the anger, there was something else. Hope. I couldn't see it until later, when I could think more clearly. But it was there.

Now, the woman I loved was here, with me. _Just a little more time, she'll wake up soon. _I kept telling myself. I laid my head down on the edge of the hard, uncomfortable cot. I was hoping for oblivion. For the worry to stop, if only for a few minuets. I couldn't force sleep to come. What if she woke up and I was snoring like an idiot? No, I would be there when she opened her eyes for the first time of her own accord. I wanted to see the familiar, burning green of her eyes first.

I ran my fingers through my hair, thinking back over the time since she had come to the caves. I thought of Ian. Of how he had fallen in love with wanderer, the alien. Or so I had thought. I never would have thought it possible if I hadn't seen it for myself. I was disgusted at first. But then I got jealous. The first reason made sense to me, that Melanie belonged to ME, she loved ME. But for some unexplainable reason I was jealous of the love that Wanda so obviously returned. I wanted that for my self as well. I didn't want to feel that way. It wasn't supposed to be like that. I was supposed to hate her. But I didn't. Though that would _never_ compare to the passion I held for Melanie. Nothing in the universe ever could.

I ran my hand down her bare arm, watching the goose bumps rise. I pressed my lips to the skin at her shoulder. The heat exploded.

I saw her hand twitch for the first time. I bent to whisper in her ear. "come on, Melanie. I love you come back to me. Please." A faint smile pulled at the corners of her soft lips. She shifted on the cot as thought she were trying to remember how to use her strong muscles. Then her eyes flickered open.

"hey baby." I said choking back tears. She was so beautiful. Her breath caught, and she threw herself into my arms. I laughed a short laugh of relief.

Before I could move again, her lips were on mine. It was pure ecstasy. In that moment we were whole again. She was herself, and I turned back into the man she fell in love with, happy, nearly choking on my emotions. I could taste her tears mingled with the familiar taste of her kiss. I opened my eyes, just needing to see her face. Hers were open as well. I drowned in the deep green of her eyes as our toungs tangled together.

Finally she pulled back and laid her head on my chest. I tightened my grip on her, getting her as close as possible. After quite a while of laying in silence, not needing to complicate the moment with words, she spoke. "its so good to be back in your arms."

"you have no idea."

"I hate to ruin a moment like this one but…" she sounded worried.

"what is it, mel?" she started to cry again, that didn't seem like Melanie.

"is she dead?" I knew who she meant automaticly.

"what? No of corse not. Why would you think that? She's still here. Ian has the cryotank. Wouldn't even let me touch it. I've been thinking, you know how Jodie didn't wake up? Well what if we found a body for wanda, that didn't have a human still left inside?"

"I was thinking just the same thing. She wouldn't want to steal another persons life. She asked doc to-"

"to what?" I couldn't make sense of what she was saying.

" to let her die. She wanted to be buried here with wes and walter. She said that she couldn't leave the people she loved. Especially ian." She smiled.

"I had no idea."

"No one did. She was a good person. IS a good person. I cant loose her Jared." I knew then and there that I would do any thing to keep wanderer here with us. Where she belonged.

How was it? I hope you like it! I might try something from ian's point of view next!

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